Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Management

Dear Management:

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

- I do physical labor.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge head first into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends off, or public holidays.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I don't get paid overtime.
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, The Penis

========================================

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
- You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
- You're unable to work double shifts.
- You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
- You have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

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