Management

Dear Management:

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

- I do physical labor.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge head first into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends off, or public holidays.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I don't get paid overtime.
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, The Penis

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Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
- You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
- You're unable to work double shifts.
- You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
- You have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management