Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

G’night John-Boy

Pauline of Leon’s Life wrote yesterday of wanting to be Laura and live in The Little House on the Prairie. That sparked off a fond memory of mine. I lived and breathed The Waltons when I was a young gel in the Seventies. Even today I hope I will one day travel to the States and visit Virginia and the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Ohhhh! I can still remember every drippy note of the theme music and the sepia tones of the credits... I wanted to live on Walton’s Mountain in Virginia and be obliged to drive an old jalopy to get to Charlottesville to do the shopping. I wanted to wear overalls and go fishin’ in the creek with Jim-Bob. Erin and I would have braided each other’s hair on the porch while Momma and Gran’maw shelled peas. That Gran’maw was such a character, always pretendin’ to be so grumpy, but really she had a heart of gold. Gran’paw pretended to be a henpecked old man, but he loved his wife and family. Jason would have helped me with my homework. Ike and Cora Godsey would have slipped me a jaw breaker when I would go to the store to buy a sack of flour for Momma. I always wondered what the Baldwin sisters’ special recipe (moonshine, no doubt) would taste like...

I simply longed to wear a print dress, my hair in a bun, have a hyphenated first name and say “Well I do declare!” to indicate surprise. I cried real tears when Mary Ellen’s handsome husband got killed by the Japs in Pearl Harbour.

Olivia Walton was played by the most beautiful actress in the world, Miss Michael Learned. Why did she have an honorific in the credits, but not the others? Is that a Southern thang, to show respect for ladies? How cool was that for a beautiful woman to have a boy’s name? How did she look so fabulous after having borne seven children and raisin’ them through The Depression? That woman was a miracle, and I’m afraid I may have once told my own Mum that I wished Liv were my real mother...

And now we come to John Boy... aaah... John Boy... be still, mah beatin’ heart! At first I wanted John Boy to be mah big brother, an’ take care ah me, but as he and I both grew older, I realised I really, really wanted to shag his brains out...

4 Comments:

  • At Tue Feb 21, 09:47:00 pm, Blogger Andi said…

    er John Boy? Really?

    The Blue Ridge Mountains (who doesn't hear Laurel and Hardy when you say that?) are beautiful! Trust me!

     
  • At Tue Feb 21, 09:55:00 pm, Blogger Ms Mac said…

    I did like The Waltons but I loved Little House on the Prairie.

    But for coloured mountains, I wouldn't go past the Black Hills of Dakota and a lovely snog 'n' shag with Wild Bill Hickock.....

     
  • At Wed Feb 22, 07:39:00 am, Blogger Calamity Tat said…

    That post saw my tea spat over computer! not sure about your taste in men though, john boy, I do declare!!!!

     
  • At Thu Feb 23, 09:50:00 am, Blogger mr. mac said…

    Think of what he could have done with that rather large raised mole on his cheek - the mind boggles at the possibilities.

    Mind you, don't you think that some sort of rodent - a 'coon perhaps - would have gnawed that thing right offa his face while he was asleepin' or sumpin'?

     

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