Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Wallowing In A Trough of Pessimistic Anticipation and Potential Self Pity

For the first time ever I have managed not to remind my children and husband of my upcoming birthday. Every year in the days beforehand I say to myself “Don’t mention the birthday! DON’T MENTION THE BIRTHDAY!”

I’m kind of a masochist and want to test them, to see if they’ll think of it all by themselves... or in the case of the children, I want to know if my parents in law have remembered to subtly prep the kids to at least make me a little card or a drawing of a flower.

But every year I blurt it out: “Please don’t forget my birthday next week!” Invariably they had, proving that I was right all along.

So I’m determined to keep my mouth shut this time. I’m absolutely determined. Even if it takes the fantasy of a young, handsome, muscle-bound New Zealander nailing a plank of four by two* over my gob to keep me silent.

* Four by two is a rough plank of timber used for absolutely everything in New Zealand, whether it be moulded into a sleek and graceful America’s Cup winning yacht, or carved into an All Black’s thigh, a sweaty, virile sculptor lovingly chiselling the muscle definition, smoothing the powerful, longline thighs and flanks with trembling fingertips ...


  • At Sun Feb 19, 02:27:00 pm, Blogger Andi said…

    Thas funny, we call it a two by four! The other way round.

    and I bet you find SOME way to mention it, though I may do the same when it comes to mine.......

  • At Mon Feb 20, 12:59:00 am, Anonymous Wendy said…

    well those fame hungry bosoms just hit me in the face and I nearly fell off my chair...phewee...

  • At Mon Feb 20, 05:50:00 pm, Blogger christina said…

    Yes, I also call a four by two a two by four. Must be something to do with the earth's hemispheres.

    Gosh, my birthday is in May and I start in on them in January to make sure they never, ever forget. :-)

    Very nice bosoms!


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