A Literary Way To Start Your Day

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation. It looked like a chastity belt, but for a rather large hole in the most obvious place which made it basically useless.


   "This is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect my Lady, the Queen, when I'm away on a Lengthy Quest?"


   "Ah, Sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt where upon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.


   "Merlin, you are a genius!" said the grateful monarch. "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected."


   After locking Guinevere into the device, King Arthur then set out upon a Lengthy Quest.


   Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all of his Knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for a Formal Inspection of the Todger ceremony.


   Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.


   "Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "You are my one and only True Knight!  Only you among all the Nobles have been true to me.  What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours."


   But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless.