Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Rude Place Names

Okay, I know I said “No drunken blogging”, and I have only had one gin and lemon, but it was a pretty big one. However, I’ll have you know that it was purely medicinal, to quell the severity of the birth pains I’m still experiencing 12 years after having given birth.

So my thoughts today are these: the beauty of being blessed with such a puerile imagination as mine is that I can wring huge gobbets of entertainment from bog standard, seemingly bland words...

Most days I walk to work, and I have a choice of different routes I could take through my village, but I almost always choose to walk down Rogering Street (rue des Rogeries), in the hopes that one day a gorgeous stranger will ravish me there.

Not long after Pauline was born, and the author’s poor old fanny had not quite healed, we discovered a nearby village I like to think of as Episiotomy (Episy, actually).

I really enjoyed driving The Lovely Ms. Mac completely potty by cackling with laughter when she took me to Bübikon, near her Swiss village. “Boobie! Conne! Boobie! Conne!” I repeated endlessly, providing Stella with much mirth, I’m sure.

Of course my ambition in life, if I ever find myself in the USA, is to visit the town of Intercourse in Pennsylvania. I promise I will send you all a postcard saying “ I really like Intercourse! Intercourse is fabulous and very exciting! Wish you were COMING here too!” And I reckon Lake Titicaca in Peru/Bolivia will give me an equally good run for my money.

In German speaking countries, people will wish you “eine gute Fahrt” before you drive or travel anywhere. I like to reply “Well thank you, and I wish you very happy flatulence too!”

3 Comments:

  • At Sun Feb 05, 11:23:00 am, Anonymous Mystery VIP Guest No. 1 said…

    I can't wait to go for a walk down the Rogering Street!

     
  • At Mon Feb 06, 01:08:00 pm, Blogger Forest Green said…

    Perhaps, my dear Antipo, blessed as you are with this curious peccadillo, you should visit the Canadian province of Newfoundland. What would you do in Come By Chance or Conception Bay? Then there's Coxs Cove and Cranky Point. The village of Dildo should set your imagination reeling. Then there's Goobies, Happy Adventure and Ha Ha Bay. You could find yourself in Hearts Content or Hearts Delight or even Hearts Desire. What fun you might have in Hooping Harbour or Jigger Tickle. Would you be giddy in Naked Man Hill? There's Noddy Point and Random Sound and Seldom Come By. Perhaps the best place to describe this little piece of fun would be Witless Bay.

     
  • At Sun Feb 12, 12:39:00 am, Anonymous deeleea said…

    Of all the towns in all the world I've actually been to Intercourse PA and have the badge to prove it...

    It was very quaint and the funniest part about it is that with a name like intercourse there wasn't even a s*x shop in sight. In fact it was all about the amish people who, clearly do 'it' given the number of children about, it's just that you'd just hardly expect them to be, well, so up front about 'it' as living in a town apparently named after 'it' given how puritanical they appear!

    (Geez did any of that make sense?)

     

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