Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Latent Lesbian Lust

Good morning children! Today we're going to discuss my latent lesbian tendencies - I mean, not MY latent lesbian tendencies of course! ha ha ha! - but I have this friend you see, and she had a strange dream last night. She had an extremely erotic and quite graphic dream about making love with another woman, and this woman happens to be her best childhood friend, the one she has known since they were eight or nine years old.

So it was all a bit strange and my friend (the one who had the dream) is feeling slightly puzzled. It was all in soft focus and very pretty, certainly, but there were definite moanings and fondlings, grindings of certain parts, and rubbings of important tactile bits and... oh! excuse me while I take off my jacket ... someone seems to have turned the heating up too high today...

So where was I? Oh yes! So today I'm wondering - erm, she's wondering - what does it all mean? Of course men look good and smell quite nice, tell dirty jokes and drink beer (essential if you want to be my friend), and can change light bulbs for me and fill in a tax return more quickly and accurately than I. But I certainly can't talk to them or understand them. And how could they possibly understand period pain, giving birth, cracked nipples and crazy monthly mood swings? I've always adored women and needed my girlfriends for the gossip, the childcare, the whipping up of gourmet meals at the drop of a stylish beret, the mutual eyebrow plucking, neck rubs and sisterly shoulders to cry on at the perfidy of men - in short the EMPATHY and UNDERSTANDING. A naked woman, with her curves and roundedness, is a thing of beauty, whereas a naked man (well a full frontal one, with his pointy elbows, knobbly knees and dangly bits) is a thing of giggles!

So does this mean I'm going to abandon husband and children to run off to Fluffy Bunny's South Sea Sapphic Island Paradise? After that dream (that my friend had), it all seems so tempting!

And yet... and yet .... those bloody men, they do have one essential, outstanding quality that even the loveliest woman does not.

And I don't think I want to do without that quality just yet!


  • At Mon Feb 06, 12:24:00 pm, Blogger Ms Mac said…

    Oh my! Somebdy, please, get me my smelling salts!

  • At Mon Feb 06, 03:04:00 pm, Blogger Bob said…

    Wow...I have to say that I like how your mind works.

    As for the 'sheer' naughtiness, would that be like the photo on your blog when your frontal bits are covered by a scarf? I LOVED that picture. ;)

  • At Wed Sep 02, 09:26:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "...those bloody men, they do have one essential,outstanding quality that even the loveliest woman does not"

    I guess that would be a big fat well rounded...



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