Here Comes Trouble

Dearest Ms. Mac,

I don't ever wish for your actual demise, as it would be a tragic loss to humankind, but if (and before) you do happen to cark it suddenly one day, please will you update your will immediately, in order to bequeath me your new, red strappy sandals? They would be somewhat of a consolation for in me in my terrible grief.

Thanks Lovey.

In other news, my new baby gave me a heart attack tonight by squeezing through an incredibly small hole to frolic in my neighbour's garden! Ungrateful little shite! Luckily I was watching her, otherwise I might never have seen her again. I was sure the whole fence was impenetrable but she can apparently flatten herself like a mouse. The little bugger will be confined to the cage until Mr Grumpy Blackheart has built a proper hutch/exercise pen.

He has gone out and bought the appropriate building materials already! I thought I was going to have to pout and nag for several weeks. Score!