My Cheatin' Heart

Dearest Ms. Mac,

As I am all busy and important making lots of money today (so that I can come and see you very soon), would you be so kind as to cut and paste all our recent emails into one startlingly witty and erudite blog post? I grant you full editorial discretion, naturally (although you know I will sneak in afterwards and correct your typos). Just remember that my writerly reputation and future career lie trembling in your gracious hands.

I know various readers are pining for news of our fabulous lives. However, I do have an ulterior motive.

I have been felled by a deep, deep crush on blogger and author Stan Cattermole and I am stalking him, Tweeting him and sending all kinds of abject, debasing fan letters in a desperate bid for a mere crumb of his attention.

So indulge me in my youthful phase of hero worship and cast your mind back to when YOU were the object of my ardour. Think how pleasant it would be for you to be the instrument in my future penfriendship with Stan. You will be so proud and honoured!

Muchos light-headed and sweaty-fingered besos,

Antipo
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