Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Wet Dream Wednesday

I’ve conducted a few, admittedly simplified, variations on the theme of The Big Talk with both my son and daughter over the years, but today is an historic day....

Tonight I’m going to having to explain ... ahem.... nocturnal emissions... to my son, in a low key and mature fashion, and without giggling, stuttering or blushing.

Help!

Can anyone recommend an Internet tutorial for such a delicate mission?

Many thanks in advance.

6 Comments:

  • At Wed Apr 05, 10:52:00 am, Blogger ViVi said…

    Make Papa do it?

     
  • At Wed Apr 05, 10:52:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    No tutorials only to warn you that get it wrong you ssould of course be ruining him for women for life....no pressure or anything. Or just do what a father would do, give him a book and let him figure it out for himself

    Hairy Mclary

    PS Underwire arm support is cheating. I'm sure it is covered by the Consumer Gaurantees (or gruntees} act

     
  • At Wed Apr 05, 11:54:00 am, Anonymous Greg said…

    Yep, that's one for the old man.

     
  • At Wed Apr 05, 01:10:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And of course Kevin will go to school and say "oh god, maman gave me one of THOSE talks again, groan. It's really disgusting. All she ever thinks about is ...." 'EEEwwwww' his mates all say. "Don't you hate it when the olds can't stop going on and on and on about it? I mean we're kids, can't they leave us to worry about important things like whether a tiger would beat a lion in a fight, or 'Digimon: is it really just the poor kid's Pokemon or a whole alternate reality?' or will lighting my fart endanger my bum fluff? Those are the important things in a boy's life."

    Hairy m

     
  • At Wed Apr 05, 02:52:00 pm, Blogger Chiaroscurama said…

    1. to help you grow up you get hormones.
    2. hormones give girls bosoms, moods, hair and periods, they give boys erections, moods, hair and nocturnal emissions.
    3. erections and nocturnal emissions are your body practising for when you are grown up.

     
  • At Wed Apr 05, 10:53:00 pm, Blogger Bob said…

    When your sheets are wet it doesn't mean you urinated in your bed. It means that your body's capacity to store sperm has been exceeded and so your body got rid of some. The only way to avoid this is to spend more time in the shower wacking off each day.

     

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