Because The Previous Post Failed To Meet The Naughtiness Criteria

In the interests of improving my sex life, I had my first ever sexology treatment last night. The treatment itself was very relaxing: the throbbingly handsome doctor sensually applied three instruments to the nape of my neck, one pressed into each hand, and two into the remaining orifices. It didn't exactly hurt, but the girths were quite a lot larger than the pencil dicks I had imagined!

Their distinctive veined appearance inspired me to design a range of marble bathroom fittings in my mind's eye, while I lay back and relaxed for 20 minutes. A heavy golden shower thrummed pleasingly onto me.

Afterwards the sexologist said to me "As this is your first treatment ever, it might provoke sensations of intense pleasure and uncontrollable screaming."

Well thanks for the warning! If I had known that earlier, I wouldn't have scheduled the appointment in between two hot dates, an all-over, nekkid sensual massage class and tonight's meeting with my sugar daddy, duh! As it turns out, I survived and I'm just a little subdued today and not full on lusty and bawdy, thank goodness.

Note to self: fully research all future sexternative therapies before trying them.

The Lovely Ms. Mac kindly reminded me to make sure all instruments had been removed before I went home and bedded French Hubby, but she said it with a kind of smirk... I'm sure she really was hoping to hear about some hilarious marital misunderstandings. It would have made for a hot blog post...



[Editor's note: may contain some tiny untruths]