Letter to The Lovely Aussie Lass and Handsome Bob

Dar Ling! and Sweetie Pie!

You know I adore you both! I would never criticise your Utter Loveliness(es)!

And, although I know you are both terribly busy and important in your sweet little job thingies, I am a tiny bit hurt (well mortally wounded, and gushing great streams of life-sustaining arterial blood actually), that neither of you commented on my Bob & Katia Do Paris post ....

Was it the "Katia acted like a celebrity" remark? Did it offend you in some way? You know, my Precious Petal, that it was only a device of comedic effect, intended to goad you into a smart-arsed reply! Ah yes, I am a wise old woman now, and I know (or remember) how youthful minds work. I take a special pleasure in twisting and manipulating youthful minds, and bending them to my dark, sinister will...

Or perhaps Bob is unhappy about having his name associated with the world famous Toilet Karma Theory...

But fear not! We can still be friends, if you rectify the situation at your earliest possible convenience!

Of course I do realise you must have been busy lately, what with swanning all over the countryside and socialising with wholesome young people who have no hidden agenda relating to their blogs.

But I feel I must confess my heretofore previously hidden weakness... whenever one of my precious blog posts - created so lovingly by my own fair hands - languishes with the chilling proclamation "0 COMMENTS" emblazoned the width of its fair bottom, I do feel quite heartbroken and dispirited, not to mention a trifle nauseous.

Yours, in self-pity,

Antipo
xxx