Dear Twitchy,

For God's sake, black out your office windows! Do not open the door! You know your boss pines for your feminine form - you do not want him mistaking a facial tic for the glad eye!

I am doing nowt today as I am practically crippled. Have I mentioned my Sciatica lately? I may actually have to go and visit Dr LovelyArms and ask if I should be worried that I'm barely able to walk without my right calf spasming agonisingly. When I go to the docs, you know it's serious. I'm much happier sitting at home and self-diagnosing using the wonders of t'internet and over the counter pain medication.

Spasm is an awesome word.

With spasmoid love and that,

S
xxxx