Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

T'ursday Goodness

Dearest Far-Away Soulie,

How lost and melancholy I felt without your comforting presence yesterday… Also, I am ovulating, so that may also have something to do with it. I do hope your day was sunny, bright, fun-filled, and free of housework.

I can’t believe I forgot to tell you that I was able to visit your dream home/secondary residence in my Quaint Village last Sunday. You remember, that pictureskew dwelling built ON the river just by the lovely old bridge? You took a photo of it on your first visit to me.

Antipo's Village
Originally uploaded by ms. mac

It apparently no longer belongs to the Big International University, but was bought by our local town council a year or so ago. So it is no longer inhabited by rowdy foreign students, hosting their beer-swilling, uncouth parties. It is currently used for exhibitions and it is so spacious (3 stories) that they are planning to convert the top floors into a very classy B&B or hotel. I hope I can show you round on your next visit. The rooms are truly beautiful and the sound of rushing water is all-pervasive (and very soothing). There is a massive marble terrace at the back, facing the sun and completely hidden from the nasty enquiring eyes of tourists.

The weeping willows which surround the house are all all coming into leaf, and a mama duck has built her nest on a wee stone plinthy thingie sticking out from the side. It is perfect!

From our Medical Matters news desk today, this report just in. I am currently suffering a horribly swollen and sore tongue, which makes me talk like a mentally subnormal person. This is due to a nightmare I had, in which I was being attacked by a frightening thug. I bit down hard on his arm (in my dream), but in real life chomped down on my own tongue. I’m amazed at my astounding stupidity. I should win medals for it, shouldn’t I?

I am also suffering from a new, hopeless crush. I had previously only vaguely heard of American country singer Dwight Yoakam, and have decided he shares an uncanny resemblance to a young Tom Petty, especially about the mouth and nose. OMG! I am smitten again!

And I discovered Dwight in a most embarrassing and very uncool way. I watched a dreadful movie called Bandidas, starring Penelope Cruz and Selma Hayak. It was truly dire. I knew it would be bad, but Selma Hayak has such magnificent bosoms, that I couldn't help myself, and watched it to the bitter end.

Lo! An unknown (to me) actor was playing the bad guy, with stringy, greasy hair, cold blue eyes and a sadistic sneer which thrilled me to the very core. I thought he looked familiar, but had to wait until the credits to discover his name. Dwight Yoakam? I vaguely knew the name as a country singer, but apparently he acts as well. So I looked him up on the good old Innernet and listened to him singing Suspicious Minds on YouTube. Swoon! He does a swivelling leg thing which made me all googly-eyed. And his rabbitty teeth and sexy overbite do strange and wonderful things to my insides.

So please write soon and tell me all about your latest Swiss adventures, extra-marital flings, possible homicides in the Village of the Damned, exciting new cleaning products (remember CLLIT BANG?), or tasty and exotic recipes you may have discovered. I can’t wait!

Anticipatory love and eager kisses,



  • At Thu Mar 27, 11:19:00 am, Blogger Mickle in NZ said…

    Dwight Yoakam? Oh please, Antipo, why don't you just fall for a kiwi panel beater named Dwayne and be done with it. Has your good taste gene vanished Darls?


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