Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

You Gave Me Crabs

Dearest Antipo,

Well, my dear, I never thought that we could be quite so intimate as to share crabs but on Tuesday all my dreams came true and your crabs arrived upon my person. Of course, I am writing of the most bizarre parcel which was lying in my Milchkasten and which, upon opening, revealed itself to be two exquisitely wrapped tins of Nautilus brand crab meat. The crab meat, as you know because you sent it, was accompanied by an exceptionally fragrant letter addressed, "Surprise!!!". I soon discovered the letter had been perfumed by- as if two tins of crab meat weren't quite enough of a treat- a bar of sweet smelling soap made from goat's milk. How spoiled am I?

Am I to believe that the bar of soap was made from the milk of the very goats you patted while on your recent snowy adventure? I find myself involuntarily singing, High on a hill was a lonely goat-turd..... at the very thought. I really am the most spoiled soulie in the world, layee ohdlayee ohdlayhee hoo......

Anyway, I look forward to using the crabmeat in one of my new Celebrity Chef Boyfriend, Giorgio Locatelli's recipes. Oooh, he so lovely. Not classically handsome but rugged with a sexy Italian accent and you can just imagine, a very high degree of naughtiness where it counts. I found him on BBC Crime Prime on an old, old show called Tony & Giorgio where he does lots of lovely cooking and laughing and smiling and running his hands through his alarmingly oily hair. I lurve him. If only you could live next door to me and we could sit and watch cooking shows all day long while sipping champagne and eating your lovingly prepared nibblies. In fact, we should just move in together. You could cook and I could be your official food critic. No, wait! We could make our own cooking show! I see it now- Nigella Lawson meets Kath & Kim. How could we fail? Sigh..... dream big, baby!

Any plans for today my dear? Nothing much happening here, I'm afraid. I might have to venture out of the house in order to have something of interest to tell you!

With ordinary (for it's an ordinary day) love and quisses,



  • At Wed Mar 19, 09:00:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    oh I remmeber those shows,I didn't know they were repeated,need to check that out, they are manyfold better then the new show of Delia,too bad that she lets herself down to copy my petpeeve nigella ( sorry, I know u like her)

    Anyhoo,re crabmeat, I went and checked a few stores and it seems in Switzerland, your best bet is indeed Carrefour, the tins in Globus Delicatessa were even around 25 francs and not biger then the one in Carrefour,and our big coop also sold them for almost 20 francs:(
    Have you tried looking online in the UK and US-stuff in CH shops??

  • At Wed Mar 19, 09:35:00 am, Blogger Ms Mac said…

    I know you don't like Nigella or Russell Brand, Sylv. What is wrong with you?

    But in answer to your question, I don't do a lot of online shopping. Mostly only from Orell F├╝ssli because book parcels are about the only thing I find pleasure in waiting for. Everything else I shell out my cold, hard cash for, I usually like to have in my hands and tear open as soon as I have left the shop. Ms Mac, thy middle name is Instant Gratification.

    I really should look into it more though...

  • At Wed Mar 19, 10:09:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what is wrong with me????

    Well if I knew that I'd be ONE happy lassie :) in fact considering my fandom for a certain bopping elf, Russell 'should' tick all the right boxes, he is cocksure of himself,has long black curls,can talk for england,has a lanky posture and his dress sense is stuck in the 70's,so why he doesn't is beyond me:)

    but i think I can live with that:)


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