Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Welcome Home

Dearest Busy and Important and Entirely Loved and Adored Gorgeousness,

Firstly, let me heave a sigh of relief that last night's lithe and virile young hot ballet boyz were wearing tight tights. There's nothing worse than seeing a young lad of the good-looking persuasion running about in a pair of grey, baggy tights, it ruins the entire fantasy, believe me!

You may have realised that while you were gone I was simply prostated with grief and was unable to compose anything of substance for our witty and glamorous epistolary epic. I spent the entire week clutching my mobile phone, waiting for your sexts (which were few and far between, by the way) and wondering if you would ever return home from your 5 star luxury holiday camp. Hi-de-hi! Luckily for me, word came through eventually that you were on your way home which perked me up no end I showered and shaved, ready for your Monday Missive.

Pahh! Apparently, you were too bloody busy and important to write to me, all day. Apparently answering emails and proof-reading took precedence over my mental health. It's a good job I am so forgiving. You are forgiven for abandoning me in such an abrupt manner (I'm sorry but 12 weeks notice just doesn't cut it) and for so bloody long. Aren't I magnanimous?

I have been running about like a blue-arsed flea today which has involved me buying ready made lasagnes from Coop for the men's dinner, having coffee with the Trolley Dolley, marching through the mountains in four different kinds of weather and having a bit of a snooze over lunchtime. I failed once again to appear at Besuchsmorgen in Ewan's class because I could simply not be arsed. Ewan forgave me as soon as I promised him a can of Dr Pepper. I am so pleased to have such easily bribed placated children.

I wish I had lots of lovely news to tell you of the happenings at Chateau Mac but it's been as quiet as the grave round my way. Not like you and your snow adventures; the skiing adventure set off me funny bone something shocking. Any more funny tales to tell? I hope so.

I hope this reaches you before you head back off home from your day down the salt mines. Have I told you how pleased I am that you're home?

With much welcome home love and quisses,


PS. Peters & Lee said it best


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