Hmmmm?

Dearest Mrs Chabal,

Hmmmm. I wonder if it is in fact your dear hirsute husband in the above picture. The forehead looks a little too smooth and girlified for it to be darling Seb to me. Also, the tattoo artist in your ad seems to have an extensive and authentic tattoo covering his right shoulder which, as you can see in the photo below, Seb doesn't appear to have.

He doesn't appear to have one in this picture either, possibly the most famous of all Chabal photos, in which he handles his daughter, Lily Rose, like a rugby ball- all menacingly yet with a loving father's touch:

(I do love the sensationalist headline accompanying this photo in The Sun, French Monster EATS Babies!) The tattoo is not in this one:

Or in this one.

Oh wait, that's his lovely, muscular left shoulder. I suppose that would render the above photograph of two shirtless rugby players completely gratuitous. Silly me.

Here's a question for you. Why doesn't dearest Seb have any chest hair? I find that very disappointing. His full, manly beard promises a gorgeous, well-formed hairy chest. Ripped off, much?

But finally, I found this photo of your fantasy man and my loins went all a-flutter:

It seems that under that hairy, neanderthal, baby-eating facade of rugby-god-hotness, lies the heart of a public school boy yearning to be corrupted. Just the way I like 'em. *licks lips*

It seems I have forgotten the purpose of this missive entirely. Actually, I've come over a little queer (that's what he said) and feel the need to lie down. Exsqueeze me for now my dear.

With, "That's so totally NOT Sebastien Chabal being all homo-erotic in that tattoo ad but how I wish it was!" love and quisses,

MM
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