Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Road to München

Dearest Antipo is on the road again. By the wonder of sext message, I give you her stories:

On The Road Again


Dearest Stay at Home Ms Mac, heavy is my heart as the company vehicle bears me and my four colleagues towards Germany and away from my office computer, my life line, my electronic conduit for our daily passionate love letters. One tiny silvery lining to the dark cloud of my despair is that we will be passing through Zürich shortly! So rather than merely sending you kinetically a cordial "Bonjour!" from my brain to your Salutations Receptor, I will be geographically close enough to send you a full-on, technicolour, powerfully throbbing soulie air-kiss as we whizz past. I dare say the emotion of this fleeting moment may be strong enough to knock you off your feet. Indeed, you may need to forego any plans you had for hoovering or laundry and have a little lie-down, followed by a restorative cuppa. I shall personally inform Mr Mac that I have given you the morning off. Please blog this and all subsequent communications, and bear in mind I will be checking for typos. (Editor's Note: I'm not sure the lovely Antipo meant the last sentence to be blogged. I left it in so that you, dear reader, can see the conditions under which I slave.)

Later:

(See above editor's note for this one too) Your Christmas bonus hangs in the balance! Stand by for next update from sunny Lake Constance. Jet-set love and backseat driver kisses, Antipo xxxxxx

Later:

OMG! I'm in Switzerland! Can you hear me yodelling? It's all pretty spires, red-gold leaves and brown tiled, sloping roofs. Have just crossed the border at Basel and am only 80kms from Zürich. Put the kettle on and position yourself on t'balcony with a white hanky. Ooops! I just remembered that you probably haven't done the laundry yet- better make that a floral patterned or dark-coloured hanky. The company of my.....

(Editor's Note: darling Antipo must have used a lot of swear words in the next bit of her sext. The satellites simply refused to wing her message towards me. It better not have been her marriage proposal to me!)

UPDATE by Antipo:

It should have read:

The company of my colleagues is proving surprisingly tolerable, even if they do demonstrate a tedious passion for discussing politics (not global or even US, but merely local - yawn), and display a truly shocking indifference to Posh Spice's new haircut, or whether Brad and Angelina are splitting up.

In compensation, I enjoyed a fabulous lunch of fried fish with green and yellow courgettes (most aesthetically pleasing), chocolate gateau with raspberry coulis and a glass of Bordeaux.

Must leave you now as my nails urgently require filing, and an annoying thread dangling from my sleeve is calling out to be stitched up, before it drives me batty.

Busy and important kisses,

Antipo xxxx

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