Oh, The Horror
Do you remember when you were at primary school there was always one poor child, usually retarded, who always smelled of poo?
Well today I am that child.
It's driving me mad. I can smell it. I don't dare ask if anybody else can. Naturally I have checked the soles of my shoes. Living in France means running the risk of daily encounters with dangerously fresh dog shit that may lurk under every fallen leaf. I have even been to the loo to check that my own bottom is perfectly clean.
It is.
But still I can smell something awful. Is there a medical condition to explain this? Could my olfactory receptors be hallucinating completely independently of my brain? Please help!
Or if you can't send advice, please send money so I can buy perfume.
Well today I am that child.
It's driving me mad. I can smell it. I don't dare ask if anybody else can. Naturally I have checked the soles of my shoes. Living in France means running the risk of daily encounters with dangerously fresh dog shit that may lurk under every fallen leaf. I have even been to the loo to check that my own bottom is perfectly clean.
It is.
But still I can smell something awful. Is there a medical condition to explain this? Could my olfactory receptors be hallucinating completely independently of my brain? Please help!
Or if you can't send advice, please send money so I can buy perfume.
posted by Antipodeesse @ 4:31 pm
2 Comments:
At Sat Jan 06, 05:41:00 pm,
Anonymous said…
Even if you dared ask someone, chances are they are farting for France and won't 'fess up...maybe somebody had a tummy bug and couldn't keep those noxious gases in.
Your nose is fine I am sure. The problem darling, lies elsewhere.
At Sun Jan 07, 10:40:00 am,
Andrea Knapp said…
That first paragraph is the funniest thing I have heard in AGES! In fact, I printed it off and now have it in a photo frame, just to make me laugh when I'm down...
Thank you Helen.
(not that I WAS that child of course)
No. Really......
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