Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

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Friday, January 05, 2007

Oh, The Horror

Do you remember when you were at primary school there was always one poor child, usually retarded, who always smelled of poo?

Well today I am that child.

It's driving me mad. I can smell it. I don't dare ask if anybody else can. Naturally I have checked the soles of my shoes. Living in France means running the risk of daily encounters with dangerously fresh dog shit that may lurk under every fallen leaf. I have even been to the loo to check that my own bottom is perfectly clean.

It is.

But still I can smell something awful. Is there a medical condition to explain this? Could my olfactory receptors be hallucinating completely independently of my brain? Please help!

Or if you can't send advice, please send money so I can buy perfume.

2 Comments:

  • At Sat Jan 06, 05:41:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Even if you dared ask someone, chances are they are farting for France and won't 'fess up...maybe somebody had a tummy bug and couldn't keep those noxious gases in.

    Your nose is fine I am sure. The problem darling, lies elsewhere.

     
  • At Sun Jan 07, 10:40:00 am, Blogger Andi said…

    That first paragraph is the funniest thing I have heard in AGES! In fact, I printed it off and now have it in a photo frame, just to make me laugh when I'm down...

    Thank you Helen.

    (not that I WAS that child of course)




    No. Really......

     

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