Dear Gloatey McJuvenile,

You are honoured to be exclusively informed that I am now the proud owner of an incredibly swanky brand new motor vehicle. After taking it for a test-drive this afternoon and managing not to smash it or pull off any of the sprakly new dashboard knobs (hee- knobs!) in my hand, I fell in love with it and threw a little tantrum in the middle of the classy dealership, stamping my feet and squealing until Mr Mac agreed to sell his soul and sign the lease papers. I bit my fingernails down to bloody stumps while Mr Mac and I waited with breaths held in nervous anticipation for the leasing to be approved. The idiots approved us later on this afternoon!

I hope with fervour that our new, swanky car will be ready to be picked up in time for our Girl's Night Out on Friday! If it is not and you are not able to be my first bestest girlfriend to have a ride (hee- ride!) in it with me, then fear not; in lieu, I shall bore you rigid all night by quoting automotive specs and values at you and forcing you to look at hundreds of incredibly boring websites which feature my new car. If you are fortunate enough to sit in the hallowed passenger seat of my new car, then please observe the following rules:

• No smoking in the vehicle at any time.
  
• No tattooing in the vehicle at any time.
• No strange men in the vehicle unless they are dark, swarthy and good looking enough to complement the upholstery without shedding their man hair on my dash.
• No stashing of vodka bottles under the passenger seat at any time. Actually, I think that was written more with me in mind.
  

I am slightly disappointed and will be sad to have to trade in the Vintage Mercedes. I know it was an old death trap, not worth the money the bills for its maintenance were printed on but it had a certain comedy value that I traded in on regularly in my blog posts. You know, in my other blog.

With rev-head love and B Class kisses (because B Class is so the new Classé!)

Madame Smug and Self Satisfied Queen of the Road

PS. I hope dry bread and water is ok for dinner on Friday.