Dearest Missus Pervey McCradleSnatcher,

I can indeed appreciate the attraction of young Cedric Diggory for you, as we are both paid-up members of the Paolo Nutini Filthy Old Ladies' Appreciation Society. However, I fear that our jailbait proclivities will one day land us in hot water.

So rest assured, the Sexy Mystery Man currently haunting my dreams is all grown up. He is however, an entirely imaginary, nameless and faceless entity. I have not yet seen his face because I have been too busy looking inside his trousers.

In other nocturnal news, I did not spend last night composing Lengthy Odes to Ms. Mac, as you may have noticed. I was called to an emergency meeting of the Ballet School's Board of Directors. The current President, Secretary and Treasurer all resigned in a dramatic turn of events, and the Ballet School was threatened with closure. The meeting dragged on for hours, with nobody wanting to volunteer to fill the new positions. In the end, three of us (desperate to get home and to bed) found themselves voted on to the new Board. I am honoured (I think) to accept the position of Esteemed Secretary, and you may henceforth address me as such if you so desire. Just think, I will probably be rubbing shoulders with the mayor at the end-of-year dance recital!

I sincerely hope your evening was as action-packed as mine. Or, perhaps not, if you are still nursing your Naughty Martini Hangover from Saturday....

Hot love and administrative, efficient kisses,
Missus Esteemed Secretary of the Quaint Village Ballet School.

P.S. I’m trying not to let it go to my head, but I do feel that Mine is the Power and the Glory now!