Leave of Absence

Dearest Antipo,

Please forgive me for taking a short leave of absence in the next few days. I have an EIP (extremely important visitor) coming for a short visit. Of course, I won't be having any fun at all, driving aorund in the neo-classic mercedes and seeing beautiful Switzerland in your absence so fear not that you will be replaced in my affections by a real, live friend. Oh, I mean it's not a friend, just an inconvenience, really. Honest.

I was so busy today and yesterday bringing the house up to scratch for the EIP that I neglected to write to you. I hope that it may soothe your soul to know that I spent most of the day baking muffins. I baked a batch of apple and sultana and then a batch of experimental raspberry and white chocolate. While mixing up the batter for the raspberry muffins, I chucked the raspberries into the mixer and realised when the batter turned a bright pink that perhaps I should have folded the fruit in gently instead. Never mind, I folded in a load more raspberries into the pink mix, along with chunks of white chocolate. When they came out of the oven I was a little worried that there was too much fruit in them and that they wouldn't hold together. I am pleased to exclusively report that they held together perfectly and were completely delicious. Moist, tart and with a creamy touch from the bites of chocolate, I believe they were the kind of muffins God has served to him for elevenses. The apple and sultana ones were pretty bloody good too. In fact all of them were so good that there is none, zero, zilch left for the EIP to try.

Speaking of God, after my friend, I mean inconvenience, has left, then I am headed off on a pilgrimage to Catholic HQ with my lovely, devout mother. ZOMG! Rome! I love Rome. My presence will be required at the Vatican all weekend. Not by the Pope, you understand, by my mother but that's ok because I'll be in Rome! For an entire weekend! Without my children! I shall be sure to send lots of sext messages to update you with all of my goings on. I expect to see lots of lovely handsome Thorn Birds type priests flouncing around in their long black robes. I'll also be on the lookout for the Sexy Priests Calendario and this time, while my mum's back is turned, I might even buy it! Have I mentioned how much I love Rome? City voted most likely to turn Stella into a raging hyperbolic.

Re: Kissing Beardies. Bearded men are a delight to kiss (if you fancy them, of course). The best time to kiss a beardy is when the beard has grown long enough to start to curl slightly. That's when it changes from being a macho, rugged delight to look at but prickly to kiss and goes a bit softer on the face. There's nothing stopping a man from using a bit of conditioner on his beard either which smells nice. Of course, a beard has to be a nice thick beard or goatee. None of this patchy crap that the young whippersnappers think is a sign of manhood. Mind you, if the beard reaches and tangles in with his lower eylashes, then that might be a little too hirsute for my liking. Best leave men that hairy to an internet fan-base, I say. And I do like a bit of uniformity in the colour of beard- I had a friend whose beard grew in about five different colours which was very strange. Having said that, a salt & pepper beard is very distinguished, of course.

My dearest, I shall leave you for now. I shall try to write when I get a free moment. But I am afraid that between now and next week sometime, I shall be quite distant. You will be constantly in my thoughts, of course, and think of the vicarious thrills you'll be able to enjoy when I tell all afterwards!

Leave of absence love and quisses,

S
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