Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Odd Kiwi News

Dear Kiwi Queen,

I read a very strange article in the paper today. the headline reads:

NZ man sentenced after claiming to have been raped by a wombat

It goes on to explain how one of your lot, a Kiwi from Nelson District, called police on a number of occasions to complain of being raped by a wombat. He soon called the police again to tell them,

"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out.... Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all."

Do they have wombats in New Zealand, then? What on earth does he mean by speaking Australian since the wombat raped him? What on earth are they putting in the water in your mother country? Vodka? Gin? Both?

Befuddled kisses,



  • At Thu Mar 27, 11:59:00 am, Blogger Mickle in NZ said…

    Sadly the story is true. Kiwi bloke clearly odd and sad - marsupials, like wombats, have a teeny, weeny, little wee penis, pretty much an embarassment to the aussie marsupial blokes.
    The kiwi's lawyer said in court that "Alcohol played a largepart in his clients life"

    I cringe for being a kiwi - thank god I'm female

  • At Thu Mar 27, 11:59:00 am, Blogger Antipodeesse said…

    Well, he is from Nelson! That's in the South Island.

    Has nothing to do with my and my origins...

  • At Fri Mar 28, 09:45:00 am, Blogger Forest Green said…

    Oh. My. God! Can it be that the grammatically impeccable Antipo has made an error? I shirk every time I am writing something that her gaze may cast upon for fear that I shall have to face her withering disapproval if I make a mistake. Even the tiniest mistake. It is a sad, sad day that this world has come to ...

    And my dear Antipo, it has STILL not gone unnoticed that you have failed to complete the Six Word Memoir meme that I so graciously invited you to participate in. Hmmmph!

  • At Fri Mar 28, 09:47:00 am, Blogger Forest Green said…

    P.S. Cute wombat.


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