Slowly Recovering From Monday Morning

Dearest Queen of Naughtiness,

What I want to know is, how did you get such intimate photos of MY Seb Chabal?

I just had a lovely, flirty chat with Australian David who looks like Alan Rickman.

He was a bit tired and couldn't remember whether he had my email address or not. He said (and I quote) "Have I got your thingie on my thingie?"

Quoth I: "Not right at this moment, but I feel sure it will only be a matter of time...."

Don't you just hate those pretentious people who say "quoth I"?

Me too.

You really are the very best soulie in the whole wide world. I can’t thank you enough for your private email sent early this morning, to cure me of my Mondayitis.

You completely took my mind off my bad night, sore back, asthmatic cough (I know I still can't spell athsma/asthma correctly. Or fuschia.), and zillion other little niggling worries, with your tales of s*xual torment and - it must be said - uncharacteristic lapses into bitchery. I truly believe I should be paying you a comedy premium for such early Morning Delight.

I packed a heavy suitcase full of Fluffy Bunny's possessions yesterday and then stood on the scales to check it wasn't going to be too heavy. Well of course it was too heavy, and I hoisted the massive bag round at a funny angle to be able to read the weight on the especially-huge-for-stupid-people LED display, and naturally wrenched some vital piece of machinery in my lower back. I am now even gimpier than a Very Gimpy Person. I hereby invite you back to my house for the International Lowing With Pain In the Bathroom When Trying To Get Out of The Shower championships. Be warned though, I will probably win.

Whoops, looks like I'm lapsing into bitchery now too....

My stifled sniggers are doing me the world of good now though, so your pain and humiliation are totally worth it! God, how I love you! Especially in the morning!

Gobsmacked love & schoolgirl giggle kisses,

Antipo
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx