Dear Madame Mojo-less,

I'm afraid you've hooked your horse to entirely the wrong coat-tails my dear for I have absolutely nothing naughty to report.

I did have a bit of a weird dream in which I was having a (fully-clothed, unfortunately) conversation with Jake Gyllenhaal about how excellent an actor Australian Anthony LaPaglia is. In it I said something along the lines of, "But of course, Jake," and I shook back my luxuriously glossy hair and pouted, "Anthony's finest work was in the Australian drama, Lantana. But you know that!" What Jake didn't know is that I haven't even seen Lantana and was merely trying to impress him so he'd ravage me. He didn't. The alarm went off.

I loved your bum shot. I think I'll leave it at that.

Yesterday I read perhaps one of my favourite Russell Brand quotes ever, "So what if I sexualise things? I'll sexualise you in a minute!", which I found in comments of the Dlisted Hot Slut of the Day link that someone who remained nameless (you!) emailed me yesterday.

Last night I roasted a wonderfully luscious and sexy leg of lamb. Having poked holes in the rich, red meat with a knife, I deftly poked chunks of garlic down into the orifices which sent a delicious garlicky flavour through the finished product. With it, I served roasted green asparagus spears with hollandaise sauce and my extra-special roasted sweet potato & garlic dish. You would have thought it was Christmas, the way the food was received. It felt fab! Of course, with all that garlic, we Macs are rendered repugnant to everyone except our own sweet family. But do I care? Do I fuck!

I am taking young Jamesey out to have his wrist x-rayed today to start the ball rolling for the operation to remove the metal plate in his arm. I will take my book with me to read in the waiting room because James just seems far too cool to have his mother actually attend these events with him any more. I shall let you know how it all turned out later.

With much love and many hopes for your mojo to return,

MM
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