Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Recap of Today’s Correspondatory Highlights

Dearest Ms. Mac,

I am miserable because you are not here. Please can you come and stay wiv me in April? Sell your children if you have to, in order to finance the trip. My life is meaningless if you don't come.

Your joke (see below) is most excellent. I visited a friend in hospital yesterday and told her an equally classy Lancashire joke:

What do you say to a man with no arms and no legs when you are running late for an appointment?

"'Ave yer got the time on yer, Cock?"

I think it cheered her up and cured all her ills at the same time. A miracle!

The hostable was bursting at the seams (with sick people), and my friend’s roommate is a 60 year old woman dying from multiple cancers. As I sat whispering dirty jokes to my captive audience friend, the nurses came in to perform all sorts of intrusive medical acts upon the poor dying woman, not four feet from me. That experience has made me all meek and thankful: glad to be healthy and sleeping in my own bed every night, even if I have do have to put up with a snoring spouse, and the occasional elbow tumor and twitchy facial neurological disorder.

I also met up in the pouring rain with The Lovely Vivi Dispatches and we dined on the finest kebabs in Troyes. I don’t want to make you jealous or anything, but she laughs at my jokes extremely heartily is sooooo lovely, that if you don’t come and visit me soon, I will have to consider grooming her to be my New Soulie.

Just so’s you know!

Naughty love and emotional blackmaily kisses,



  • At Tue Apr 01, 12:52:00 pm, Anonymous Vivi said…

    Dear Antipo & Ms Mac:

    I'd rather throw myself behind a train than come between the likes of you two!



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