Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Last Day In France

Dearest Ms. Mac and soon-to-be very far away Soulie indeed,

OMG! Only one more sleep until I go to New Zealand again. Aoteoroa, land of the long white cloud. HOME!

Although I doubt that there will be much actual slumber involved in my last sleep. This morning I got up at 1:30 and padded silently around the house, writing new lists of lists of Stuff To Do and carefully tweaking my meticulous suitcase contents planning project in my mind.

After scoffing vast quantities of deliciously summery fresh apricots and cherries (which will all be finished by the time I get back to France), I eventually succumbed to the siren call of trashy magazines and a half-tablet of muscle relaxant before going back to bed. That wonderful drug makes all my limbs incredibly floppy, and French Hubby decided it would be amusing to raise one of my arms or legs high in the air and let it come crashing down again to reverberate satisfyingly on the mattress. Many times over.

Needless to say, I'm going to miss you horribly during my five weeks away. I just won't be spending my days in front of a computer, so our electronic intercourse will be limited. If your raging desire for telephonic intercourse with me becomes so great, you can of course call me at my parents' house.

I always like to answer my parents' phone by saying "Good morning! You have reached Antipo's Gambling Emporium and House of Ill Repute. Please press 1 for the Casino, press 2 for Massage (with benefits), press 3 for Illegal Armaments, press 4 to Hire a Hitman, press 5 for Deviant Practices and press 6 for Accounting. Thank you, and have a NICE DAY!"

If my friends are calling they usually chuckle dutifully, but if it's my parents' friends, I am usually met with a bemused silence. My greeting possibly needs some work in the Humour Department. I await your suggestions.

So farewell, Joyful Scottish Maiden! (Okay, I guess maiden is pushing it a bit). Just remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder! And it's no use crying over spilt milk. And fine words butter no parsnips. Or something.

Also, remember I have spies in many countries, so if any reports of a ravishing, curly, curvy, Scottish-Australian blogging total vixen canoodling with any nubile, intellectually inferior blogging bimbos were to reach my ears on the other side of the globe, there will be HELL to pay.

I'm just sayin'!

Doped-up love and not-worried-at-all kisses,



  • At Sat Jun 21, 10:59:00 am, Blogger Mickle in NZ said…

    Antipo - please pack winter woollies. Is damn cold tonight (longest night!), and nasty southerly weather front straight from Antartic due here day before you are.

    Ms Mac- "We think the budgie fell into the toilet". WTF was budgie doing in bathroom? What really happened? Tell all or I'll kidnap Antipo and keep her down-under for ever.

    Huggles and love Ladies, Michelle....xxxxxxxx


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