Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Friday, October 10, 2008

God, I Hate Teenagers (Especially In The Mornings)

Dearest Ms. Mac,

Do you remember when we once confessed that if we had known earlier just how adorable (not to mention soft) hamsters can be, we woud have given birth to rodents instead of children? We were totally right!

Why can I not get a peaceful cup of tea down my throat in the mornings, without my horrible offspring sniping at each other, quibbling and answering me back in snippy, exasperated tones? I used to be such a lovely, morning person, but not any more!

God help me, I'm going to have to lock them up in a rabbit hutch each and push pellets and greenery under the door, so I can sit alone at the breakfast table every morning and wake up in a reasonable manner.

I just know they will one day publish their memoirs of their horrendous childhood, and the opening line will be:

My mother was the grumpiest bitch on earth in the mornings...

And it's so unfair! I used to be a nice person. In the olden days.

Requesting tea and sympathy Darls!




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