Bra-Fest Extravaganza 2006

I hope I haven’t raised your hopes too high, only to be sadly dashed by my confession that I chose comfort over style during my recent “droopy bosom cheering up” session. There are some absolute aesthetic horrors among my purchases, but they feel so goooood....

Babes in the Wood

This ghastly, Laura Ashley-style floral riot lends my babes an innocence which is not strictly justified. But it’s light and supportive and makes me feel girlish and coy.




The Danger Bra

I’m afraid this evil creation could cause any mountaineers foolish enough to go exploring too near the edge of the vertiginous cleavage to plummet to a horrible, dizzying death by smothering. I cannot be held responsible for the safety of any who venture here. May the Force be with you.




Old lady-style swimming togs

With built-in support for wrinklies. Alas, this becomes necessary at the age of 41. When I’m swimming for exercise in my old blue Speedos, my breasts disappear to a flattened, pancakey nothingness which is so depressing.



Sinful coffee silk and dark chocolate lace

For when one is feeling peckish...



Coffee & chocolate, a little closer, just in case you didn’t catch the full wallop, the first time round. I look enormous here - Tee hee! perspective is everything!



And finally the horror of horrors:

A truly hideous granny concoction, complete with dainty net curtains, to preserve my modesty. Heaven help us!