Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Dear Mistress of Communications,

To help you on your Communcations Course today (imagine the preposterous idea that you could become even more excellent than you already are in the field!) I have found the following on Kim's blog. I think you should take the following words and use them in casual conversation with your course instructors today. For no other reason than my own personal amusement.

The following words are apparently taken from The Washington Post's MENSA Invitational* where members are invited to take a word from the dictionary and alter it by adding or subtracting a letter and supplying a new definition.

1. INTAXICATION: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to begin with.
2. REINTARNATION: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. BOZONE: The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. CASHTRATION: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
5. GIRAFFITI: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. SARCHASM: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
7. INOCCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
8. HIPATITIS: Terminal coolness.
9. OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate disease.
10. KARMAGEDDON: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
11. DECAFALON: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
12. GLIBIDO: All talk and no action
13. DOPELER EFFECT: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14. ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. BEELZEBUG: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
16. CATERPALLOR: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
17. IGNORANUS: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

My own personal favourites are Sarchasm, Hipatitis and Osteopornosis. What about you, darls?

Loads of communicatory love and innovative quisses,


*Does the Washinton Post's MENSA Invitational actually exist? I doubt it.


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