Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Something Noteworthy At Last!

Dearest Saucy Spit-Roast Stella,

Do you remember when I accompanied you (and all the lovely Male Macs, mini and otherwise) to the Eiffel Tower a year or so ago, and regaled you with the tale of my first visit?

Do you recall the hilarity? I, a fresh-faced maiden of 22 or 23, was taken to see the Eiffel Tower very late at night by French friends, after a night of inebriation. I was busting to go to the loo, and after duly admiring the brilliant, twinkly illuminations adorning that mighty edifice, politely excused myself to duck behind some bushes for a quick, yet discreet pipi. At the very second that I squatted down and unleashed an (even though I do say so myself) impressive stream of wee onto hallowed Parisian turf, ALL the Eiffel Tower lights went out. Poof! Just like that!

Of course my cruel and smarty-pants French friends burst into raucous laughter and convinced me that I must have peed on a vital electrical cable, thus extinguishing the glorious radiance of France's most famous monument. It took me a good few seconds for me to realise they were joking. I remain traumatised to this day.

Well, a funny thing happened in the office this afternoon. We suffered a power cut that went on and on, in fact it lasted for two hours. All the offices in our building and other parts of the village were affected. The lack of computers humming and the printer making ... erm ... printy noises, was most eerie. The inconvenience of being without e-mail, telephone and coffee was irritating. Work-wise,we are proofreading our monthly report this week and I, happily, was working from paper printouts to rest my eyes, so was not inconvenienced. My colleagues, who do all their proofreading on-screen, were reduced to tidying their desks, watering plants and filing stuff away. They'll be working late tonight, trying to catch up.

When I was ready to leave for home, I went to the loo (in the pitch dark). Can you guess? No sooner had my bum hit the seat than the lights came back on, in a very neat symmetry to my Eiffel Tower Pipi incident of sixteen years ago.

I do believe I may possess urinary super powers.


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