Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Definition of Embarrassment

Dearest Post-Birthday Girl,

God, are we STILL celebrating the 17th anniversary of your 21st birthday? You really know how to milk the occasion to the very last drop, don’t you?

Well okay then. I will join in with your Grand Scheme, but only until next February when we start celebrating MY birthday again. Remind me to pour yet another flute of champagne tonight.

So, what is the definition of embarrassment?

A friend of a friend of mine was walking alongside a pretty canal in her lunch-break. The towpath was pleasantly deserted, so she naturally began writing blog posts in her mind. This progressed to saying them out loud, practising different accents, rehearsing humorous anecdotes, breaking into peals of laughter ranging from dainty trills to bellowing guffaws, and occasionally scratching her bum.

Suddenly she became aware of an almost imperceptible sliding movement in her peripheral vision, and discovered that a pleasure boat laden with holidaymakers had approached silently from behind and was drawing level.

My friend is very quick-witted and said “Bonjour !” very coolly, with her nose in the air, as if nothing could possibly be amiss.

The holiday makers were all British and were all tittering to themselves. She had the choice of walking faster to outrun the humiliation (but it was a hot, sunny day), or dropping back to let the boat overtake her and face the grinning apes leering at her. She slowed her pace and averted her gaze until a handy turn-off enabled her escape.

She then discovered her skirt was tucked into her panties at the back.

The poor girl! I know you would comiserate, but I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Love & pink-cheeked kisses,




  • At Thu May 22, 05:28:00 pm, Blogger Mickle in NZ said…

    Oh dear, Dear one,

    what was your friend doing, hanging around canal paths. Even without the Pommie style humans, those canal boats can be nasty. They slink along the gentle waterways of France and such countries (all now in the EU) and do you check on what the canal water has been up to, where it has travelled before then, huh, huh?

    Beware of the travelling canal boat Poms. Know you are very directly descended from one - but was he likely to do canals?

    Just a wee comment......

    love and huggles....

    Stella - please rescue Antipo, please....


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