Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Monday, June 02, 2008

More Naughtiness Than A Monday Morning Can Handle

Dearest Antipo,

This morning, in addition to giggling at the word ring, I also appear to find the word blow very sniggersome indeed. It all started when I read somewhere that you'd have to blow the dust off an old book and suddenly I was reminded that the word blow can be very, very naughty.

I was on a bus once and overheard two young bucks being very discourteous about their weekend conquests. One young buck was telling the other about a fair maiden he'd bedded the night before while the other eagerly asked his friend about his sexual achievements with her, almost as though he was ticking them off on a sexual check sheet. I won't tell you, for fear of being arrested for indecency, everything he asked but one of the delicate questions he was desperate to know the answer to was, "Didya blow on 'er tits?"

As I listened, I wondered, "Blow on her tits? Like, blow, on her tits? What's so awesome about blowing on her tits?" I pictured a gentle tickling of breath running across a young lady's nipples and while I can imagine it would be very sensual an experience for her, I could not imagine why these two young fellow-me-lads would consider it worth marking off on the list of lurve.

And then it came to me and somehow I managed to not blurt, "Oh! Blow! You mean blow on her tits!" out loud. I did not manage to suppress the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl though and my shoulders shook from mirth until the bus pulled in at my stop.

And so it has been this morning that when I read the word blow, my mind plunges to the depths of depravity and I snigger and snort like a thirteen year old in her first sex education lesson. May the week continue thusly.

With naughty love and depraved quisses,



  • At Mon Jun 02, 11:07:00 pm, Blogger Doc said…

    OH DEAR SWEET JESUS! I'm absolutely SHOCKED at how long it took me to understand. I'm slipping, girls! This is frightening. VERY frightening. I think a weekend of devilment must be planned to get me back to rights.

  • At Tue Jun 03, 11:57:00 am, Blogger christina said…

    Hee! I should come over here more often. VERY interesting.

  • At Thu Jun 05, 08:56:00 am, Blogger Andi said…

    Holy crap!

    That there is without a doubt the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read. EVER! and bear in mind how funny Jonathan has been in the past!!!! THIS beats anything he has written hands down.

    Don't tell anyone but I read this just now (I'm on 3rd shift at work) and I quite literally wet myself. The thing is I can't go home and change for 4 hours!

    Stella, you are a funny funny woman. I was with you all the way!

    God almighty, I am forwarding this to everyone I know to read!


  • At Thu Jun 05, 03:03:00 pm, Blogger Michael said…

    I don't get it?

    It's because I'm gay, right?


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