Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wednesday Wow!

Dearest Light of My Life,

Things are humming and bopping around here today! I think a bullet point list is called for. (Please could you put the bullet points in for me, ‘cos my Mac won’t do it).

- Not only is my delicious secret getting closer and closer with every hour, but

- I arrived at work to discover I have a new client in Mexico (always nice to have exotic biz contacts, rather than bog-standard ones in Bognor Regis), and

- My hair is behaving today and I am rather pleased with the effect of my solar system necklace and tight burgundy sweater, bolstered up by my cantilevered, WonderBra’d bosoms, all in honour of this afternoon’s television appearance. The menstrual bloat has subsided, thank God, allowing me to grunt and strain my way back into my summer jeans. The reduced oxygen in my circulation has turned my lips only slightly blue. The lip gloss is standing by, to be applied the moment I see the news camera van arriving in the car park.

- If I only get three seconds of fame today, that means I still have 14 minutes and 57 seconds to come at a later date.

- Our Three Year Macaversary is coming up soon! Have you got me a fab present yet?

- Ballet class was great fun last night! My class is dancing in two numbers. The theme of the Gala is Professions of Yesteryear and Careers of Today. In the first half, my class is dressed as old-fashioned school mistresses, carrying a cane for punishment, and dressed in floaty, sober grey, yet feminine gowns. The movements are all precise, pernickty and delicate, set to classical music. Our second number is Firefighters! We dance to the Rolling Stones’ Paint It Black and perform lots of jumping, swaying and grandiose, powerful gestures. I will film and YouTube it eventually, just as soon as we have mastered the steps and are more or less coordinated. It’s still a fucking shambles for most of us!

So could you wish for a more news-filled communication from me to start your Wednesday morning? I think not.

Eagerly awaiting your tales of laundry room conundrums, scandalous offspring misbehaviour, salacious gossip with Trolley Dolly, and shock horror Swiss neighbours.

Muchos besos and Luuurve,

Missus Bouncy McBoingBoing



  • At Wed Apr 16, 02:34:00 pm, Blogger Mickle in NZ said…

    Wrot such a witty, happy response to your fame opportunity.

    Useless connection stuffed up and refused to send it. I had such wonderful advice over how to do the "Jamie Oliver" discovery yet be your brilliant and important (very)

    NZ useless broadband ate it. I can communicate better with the rescue cat then over my broadhips link to Urope special people.WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

  • At Wed Apr 16, 03:45:00 pm, Blogger Mickle in NZ said…

    Now 3.41 pm where you are
    tele crew still there?
    Hope your meticulous making up has ensured no shiny bits on your beautiful self?

    sigh - must do the sleep stuff, will have to wait hours to find out all....


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