Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Dear Black 'n' Blue Beauty,

How I wish I could be a source of soothing succour this morning, as you nurse your contusions and your wounded pride. Sadly, I can only offer this: That's what you get when you abandon me in my sloth to go and be all sporty!

I am suffering a wave the size of a tsunami this morning of Weltschmerz. My long-suppressed inner feminist has been raging all weekend about the injustices we creatures of oestrogen and valour suffer at the hands of the patriarchy. It all started when I read yet another fucking guideline from the British Government about what pregnant women in Britain are supposed to be doing now. Apparently a glass of wine or two per week won't hurt your baby in utero now, as opposed to last week when babies were at risk from presumed alcoholic mothers-to-be who dared sip a glass of champagne to celebrate their birthday while carrying their precious cargo of the establishment's next generation. Oh, you fucking think? How did the fucking human race manage to get this far without friggin' government guidelines to tell us how to live our lives? Women have been conceiving, gestating and birthing young 'uns since the dawn of time without all your rules and regulations designed to control and take every liberty with a body that is not yours, you bunch of fuckwits!


And then I kept torturing myself by looking at this:

and got angrier and angrier at every glance of the gorgeous Halle Berry posing with no trousers, bra showing and her fingers stretched over her inner thigh. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a bit of nudity every now and then. Just don't try to fool me that Halle's image, in comparison with Bill's strength and determination is one of powerful femininity and not sheer exploitation of the female form. Fucking fuckers and cunting cunts!

And not to mention the 13 year old girl who was raped by three men and stoned to death in Somalia for having committed adultery.

Arghhhh! I'm so friggin' angry.

Dreadfully sorry to have bored you silly with my ranting and raving my love. I promise to be in a better mood when I write next.

Feminist love and kisses, Sister!



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