Grumpyface Monday

Dearest Dollface,

(actually, you are much prettier than a doll because you are a living entity. Also you don’t need bottle-feeding and your nappy changing, which is a huge bonus). I do hope you are well.

So sadly, my own features can only be described as hollow-eyed this morning, as I have clocked up one week of broken sleep thanks to Lord Sinus, who has been snorting and blowing his gigantic nose in the bed right next to me at odd hours of the night. Tonight I’m sleeping on the sofa, with only the gentle nocturnal rustlings of the canary to disturb me.

My tongue is now lined with pulsating mouth ulcers, which is the first symptom of severe fatigue in my organism. The second symptom is Homicidal Rage, which was due to hit next week (PMT) anyway. So I shall be a very Merry Widow indeed.

I hereby cordially invite you to the wake, and you can of course help me spend my inheritance and widow’s pension. What fun we will have!

Muchos cranky love and baggy-eyed kisses,
Antipo

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