Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Unfeasibly Happy Friday

Dearest Cheating Ms. Mac,

So how did your “lunch date” with lovely Ms. What’s'ErName go? Is her nose prettier than mine? I bet she slurped her soup though. You know that nobody, but nobody, has such refined table manners as I.

Anyway, I’m not jealous. Not at all! She probably hasn’t yet earned her position in your silver heart-shaped photo frame collection.

In fact, I’m feeling inexplicably happy and bouncy today! You know that moment in the opening credits to The Mary Tyler Moore Show, when she arrives in Minneapolis, throws her beret in the air and twirls around for sheer joy? I feel just like that today.

Oh that’s right, I forgot that you weren’t even an embryo in the Seventies. You don’t know what you missed!

Anyway, a possible reason to explain my unwarranted perkiness (because it is still very cold here) is that I encountered a not very young woman on my way to work this morning when crossing my impossibly quaint cobblestoney bridge. She was all dressed up to the nines, with way too much makeup and exaggerated hair-dye. She was wearing white vinyl gogo boots with chunky heels.

I smiled at her. I then raised my eyes to the heavens and thanked the Little Baby Cheeses that those boots were “gracing” her legs and not mine.

Love and worming-my-way-back-into-your-affections-whatever-it-takes kisses,



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