Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Antipo Is a Bad Mother, Despite Her Best Intentions

Dearest Ms. Mac,

I can never blog this, but I can tell you!

I bought myself a small whiteboard (felt pen, wipe clean thingie) for the kitchen, to act as a running total shopping list. The crotchfruit are always forgetting to write down what they need and then get cross with me when I don't buy their new school pens or whatever. So a certain young person not entirely unrelated to me, asked for a whiteboard too, for her room.

Of course I never intended to read it, as I naturally respect her privacy. However, this morning, an incident of a most peculiar and alarming nature occurred. The whiteboard actually jumped before my eyes and the words inscribed there flashed instantly onto my brain via the ocular nerve. Obviously such an event was entirely beyond my control...

The whiteboard contained the following list:

- Don't forget compass and calculator
- Wear skinny jeans, blue shirt, black vest and blue scarf to school
- Try to sit next to Sophie today
- Ask if her parents are divorced. Tell her that her new haircut REALLY suits her, is mega cool!!!
- Ask Papa to take me shopping at big new shopping mall.
- Discuss CHRISTMAS!!!!