Naughty Letters to Ms. Mac

Countless noble souls (and many fluffy kittens) sacrificed their lives during the making of this blog. We think you will agree they were worth it.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Teeny Weeny Burpday Greetings to Ms. Mac!

Dearest Soulie,

I was going to wish you especially HUGE, EXTRAVAGENT, VOLUMINOUS and IMPORTANT burpday greetings today, but then I remembered that it's only an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny, completely insignificant number that we are celebrating.

I mean, come on! You're still only thirteen, right? Nothing to get excited about!

But you are extremely honoured to take receipt of this delicious, home-grown rose wot bloomed in my garden yesterday.

If you lean very close to your computer and inhale deeply, you will detect its powerful, aphrodisiac fragrance. CAREFUL - not THAT close! Now you've smudged the screen with your nose. You'll have to get the Putzfrau in to clean it up, while Mr Mac takes you on the town for pizza and a movie. Or beer and an ACDC concert. Or champagne and a thé dansant. Something appropriate to your age!

Muchos burpday besos to you!

love, Love, LOVE,


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

To Do List

- Buy fabric rose to accessorize my Flapper headband for Charleston costume (dance recital only 1 month away).

- Finish altering figure-hugging, peacock-blue satin cheong-sam for dance recital.

- Buy and read Della Says OMG by the Lovely Keris Stainton, shower her with praise and stalk her until she deigns to meet me and impart her writerly wisdom.

- Wait feverishly for the postman to bring my bridesmaid's dress

from my personal dressmaker in Australia, so I can try it on and practice the complicated, yet sleekly elegant sash-tying technique.

- Clean out the putrid glob of old hairs & soap scum blocking the plughole in the bath because it's starting to stink...